Welcome to my blog!

First post!  Totally unchartered territory, this blogging business.  I keep thinking of that scene in Californication where David Duchovny's agent mocks him for starting a "blaawwwg".  But I have been reading and enjoying other people's blogs recently and I want to join the convo.  I am recovering from an eating disorder (an anorexia-bulimia-orthorexia combo deal) and also managing a particularly annoying IBS situation - two goals which are most of the time completely at odds with each other.  "Let go of your rules about food and eat intuitively.  But don't eat A, B and C.  And all the way up to Z, really  - they're all murder on your gut."    I have been caught in the crosshairs of this contradiction for almost 15 years now.  Lately I am trying to tend more towards the former - aiming to eat "normally" and loosen up my rules about the latter.   There are still lots of things I don't eat, but I recently opened the door again to wheat and dairy which are like long lost lovers who've finally come home from the war.

The result of paying more attention to the ED - I recently spent a few months in a day-treatment program - is that my weight is up into the normal range, and my digestion is improved.   That being said, as I am writing this I am all out of sorts inside, with the cramping, burning and trapped gas of IBS.   Great fun.   So it's an ongoing struggle, trying to balance these two acronymic (is that a word?) juggernauts. 

And in the middle of all that, I am, like, trying to have a life here, okay?   Like maybe build a career, and maybe, oh I dunno, have an actual relationship?  As well as hobbies, travel, friends, all that other good life stuff.     The kind of stuff that's become more and more scarce as I've delved deeper and deeper into ill health.   Yes, I have spent far too much time sitting in doctor' offices and describing the intricacies of my bowel functions and not nearly enough time having bbq's, going to the beach and, like, having sex.   On the beach.  At a bbq, even.

I look forward to hearing from others who trying to have a healthy relationship with food while they have uncooperative digestive systems.  And really anyone with an ED or IBS or any other acronym who wants to give me feedback.  Yes, you ADHD'ers, I'm talking to you!  If only you could pay attention...